The Day I Stopped Pretending
Own the Weird Stuff
So many of us are hiding who we are. I did that myself. Mostly because I had these ideas in my head about how I should show up in my business and as a designer. I pretended to be something that I am not and that was exhausting.
You know that feeling? When you're constantly performing, constantly editing yourself, constantly worried about whether you sound professional enough or polished enough or whatever enough.
I was so busy trying to be the designer I thought everyone wanted that I forgot how to be myself. Every conversation felt like I was wearing a mask. Every piece of work felt disconnected from who I actually was.
The moment I started not giving a shit about what people thought of me, the more aligned clients I attracted and the easier my business grew.
I created Femme Foundry from this place. Something that I never thought I would do or have the courage to do. Write. Be open, let the world see me. Show my values online, my manifesto, clearly saying where I stand and staying true to my values.
When I started showing up as myself, everything changed.
The right people finally found me. People who didn't want perfect - they wanted real. People who resonated with my actual voice, not some watered-down version of it.
If you're still hiding parts of yourself in your brand, this is me giving you permission to stop.
Start with what you're hiding
Write down everything you edit out when you're creating content or talking to clients. The opinions that feel too strong. The way you actually speak when you're not performing. The parts of your personality that don't fit the "professional" box.
That list? That's where your real brand lives. That's what makes you different from everyone else doing what you do.
Stop following rules that aren't yours
We all have these invisible rules about how we're supposed to show up online. Don't be too personal. Don't share opinions. Keep everything neutral and safe.
But where did those rules come from? And are they actually serving you, or just keeping you small?
Most of the time, they're just fear dressed up as strategy. Fear makes for boring branding.
The parts you think are "too much" are probably perfect
Your strong opinions about your industry. The way you swear when you're passionate. Your weird obsessions. Your unconventional way of working.
All that stuff you think makes you unprofessional? That's what makes you memorable. That's what helps the right people find you and feel like they're not alone.
Stop editing those parts out. Own them.
Get clear on your values
Once I figured out what actually mattered to me - not what I thought should matter, but what genuinely drove me - everything got clearer. Content became easier. Decisions became obvious.
Write down three values that are at the core of who you are and how you work. Real ones, not corporate buzzwords. The things that get you fired up or make you lose sleep over a project.
Stick them on your wall, in your notes app, wherever you'll actually see them. Let them guide everything you create.
Share your real story
Not the highlight reel version. The actual journey.
Where you started. When you almost gave up. How you figured things out. What you believe now that you didn't believe before.
Your story doesn't need to be inspiring or perfectly packaged. It just needs to be honest. People connect with the messy bits, not just the success moments.
Let yourself evolve
Being authentic doesn't mean being the same forever. You're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to grow. You're allowed to figure things out as you go.
When you show up as your real self - including the parts that are still growing - people want to come along for the journey.
Try this
Say something you've been holding back. Post it, email it, whatever. Just get it out there.
Write down those three values and stick them where you'll actually see them.
Share one part of your story that you've been keeping to yourself. Start small if you need to.
You don't need a bigger voice or a more polished brand. You just need to stop getting in your own way.
It's not about being perfect. It's about being real. And when you finally give yourself permission to do that, everything else falls into place.
And if you're still figuring it out? Good. That means you're not just copying what everyone else is doing. That means you're actually building something that's yours.
You're going to feel unsure sometimes, but that's what growth looks like. The people who matter will stick around for the journey.
What's one thing about yourself you've been editing out of your brand?